Love Letter for The Contemporary Society

Society of The Hypocrites

In this contemporary era, everyone needs attention. Everyone needs affirmation from somebody else. It is as if to seem happy is more important than to be happy. I am also a man from this era. I have a clear philosophical consciousness of it. Yet sometimes I’m still drowned deep inside the destructive hedonism. Why is the seduction of modern demons so powerful that even the enlightened can’t resist the beautiful illusions they created? 

In this optimistic society, people are forced to believe that they can achieve everything as far as they work hard enough, negating all other factors, blinded from all the structural problems that has always been existing deep inside the society. People are expected not to be sad, and "sorrow" has never existed in society’s moral guidebook, because we are always expected to smile and happy. So we can keep distracting ourselves to produce something. So we can achive something. So then we can earn affirmation from the people around us.

And finally,

so we can be seen as happy. 

Because happiness is oftenly defined as achieving something outside ourselves. Something that we don’t have before. Good body shape, succesful career, wealth, material possesions, high social status. People are unconsciously indoctrinated through the advertisements they see on television, internet and most importantly, social media about they things they "should have" or someone they "should become", that will make them happy. Brands, symbols, mythologies and other kinds of modern illusions of happiness.

But the ironic truth is, by this definition, happiness will not become something which everyone can have. Not for the lower social class who fight the battle of poverty, a struggle between life and death every single day. Happiness will always be unreachable and isolated for certain people, at the other side, giant capitalism company keep earning a lot of profits not only by exploiting the labours, but also, by exploiting our very personal institutions: mind & desire. We, the consumers, became the modern slave of symbol and affirmation. We’re the slave of capitalist conception of happiness. We’re capitalists favorite pornstars.

Can we just sit back for a while, take a deep breath, and think about the meaning of our existence? About why are we all here at the first place, and why the heck in the universe are we doing all the things we’ve been doing this whole time like a mindless machine? Something which in this very pragmatical production-oriented era are always considered as useless bunch of philosophical nonsense.

***

Pessimistic Nihilism: The Sad Truth

Hasn’t Cosmology and Physics showed us that we are nothing but a cosmic dust of the universe? 

We’re just an insignificant, tiny, pale blue dot floating around in the void of space, consumed by the darkness.

We inevitably born into a specific period of time in the spectrum of history. We are trapped inside, because we can’t choose our facticities: when we are born, where we are born, and what we are born as. We are the product of the era; we grow up and are shaped by it. Most of us never question it. We life our live like any other normal people, we follow the systematical procedure, it’s like we’re programmed into something in the system. In capitalism perspective, we’re seen as potential labour. We go to school, we graduate, we work for the capitalists, we become sucessful, become financially stable, get married, have some children, and then die like any other normal homo sapiens in this world. But have we ever, once, taken a step back and see the bigger picture? 

Sadly, we live in the society of obedience: where newborn babies will always nod to whatever the society tell them to. Revolting will be considered by the society as evil, immoral. 

Millions of babies are born each day. Millions of them are programmed. They are taught about specific religion (based on their parents’ beliefs), indoctrinated on some set of moral codes, taught on how to use language, how to speak and write, how to do things right based to some standards that society has constructed. They are taught on how to behave in accordance to society, about gender roles, about dreams and goals, and many other variables that will determine their behaviours when it comes in taking decisions in life, and most importantly and eventually, will influence their perspective to see the world forever. If John Locke said that we are born in Tabula Rasa, the state of emptiness, then we can actually say that it’s our parents and our society who shape us into who we are now. If we never really question those primodialistic values, and dare to confront ourselves with the sad truth, with the uncomfortable contradictions we might discover during the journey to find the truth of reality, we will just going to stuck forever as a programmed machines of our parents, the doll of society. 

As the result, we can never see the world without prejudice and assumptions. We can never see the world… naked.

Million souls die at the very second i wrote this. Million other lives die the next second when you read this. We never really consciously give attention to it, except for those lives whom we really know. To put it blantly, human lives aren’t inherently valuable. We, as a thinking subject, put the value to something arbitrarily, but life itself doesn’t have intrinsic value. We value animals like cat over ant because cat is cute, fluffy, and antrophocentrically lovable while ants are just some small insignificant creatures who eat our food if we left it on the table untouched. we value dog’s life over rat’s life just because some of us find dogs as cute, loyal, and lovable animal, while rats are just parasites, who (also) steal our food. But to put all things aside, from the universe’s perspective, they’re just animal and nothing more than that. The value of their lives exist depending on our perceptions and our conceptions of something. If we die, our perceptions of something are also gone, thus; the values are gone.

Same thing goes to us as well. We’re just like any other animal in the wild nature. Just like those lining ants on the wall. Just like the cockroaches at the toilets. We, Homo Sapiens, are just biologically lucky to have evolved into a special creature with superior intelligence compared to other animals. Although ironically enough, as the civilization develops, Sapiens start to forget who they are and keep fooling themselves with luxuries and modern hedonistic culture, amplify the same old belief: we are the special creature that god created, the world revolves around us, we are civilized. We consider ourselves different from wild animals. But because we assign values to life, because we’re part of the human community.

At the end of the world, all the greatness of human civilization and its whole mega culture, and its values will crumble into nothingness. Homo Sapiens will be stripped off from it’s hypocrite arrogancy and left naked in the wild once again, as we have been before hundreds of thousands years ago. And the earth will remain as a cold place again. And human will remain as a lonely creature once again.

So then we may ask ourselves at the end, what the hell in the world is the meaning of all of this?

What else are we doing in this world except entertaining ourselves? (Emil Cioran). Aren’t we just keep distracting our mind away from the tragic fate of humanity (that is death)? Running away and distracting ourselves are easier for us as an escape, rather than bravely encountering the sad truth of the reality, and Optimism is such a toxic opium for that kind of nihilistic anxiety. 

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Turbulensi Sejarah Tanpa Akhir

Kabar mengenai kematian seorang laki-laki african-american akibat tindakan rasis aparat penegak hukum belakangan merebak di mana-mana. Kejadian ini tentu, if not ridiculous, benar-benar mengecewakan dan memprihatinkan. Suatu malam di tengah bulan juni pikiran saya melambung jauh membayangkan tentang kejadian ini, dan berkaca pada kejadian-kejadian dalam sejarah peradaban manusia. Apa yang saya temukan dari bayangan-bayangan itu pada akhirnya bermuara pada perasaan mual dan muak pada kehidupan. Sungguh ironis bila membayangkan sesuatu seperti rasisme yang demikian bisa terjadi, bagaimana kita sebagai sesama manusia, yang berakar dari satu spesies yang sama, nenek moyang yang sama, hidup dan berkembang bersama-sama di muka bumi sepanjang zaman, bisa berakhir saling membenci hanya pasal berbeda warna kulit, dimana hukum kemanusiaan didasarkan pada banyak atau sedikitnya kadar melanin di dalam tubuh. Yang sebetulnya hal itu pun terberi begitu saja sejak lahir tanpa bisa diubah ataupun punya kuasa untuk mengubahnya.

Padahal ada begitu banyak kesamaan lain yang luput dari pandangan kita. Aren't we all human being, living under the same roof called sky, and sleeping under the same bed called earth? eating the same kind of food and breathing the same kind of air? Sesekali, tidakkah kita merasa jengah dan terhina kepada semesta langit yang melihat dan mengamati dalam diam dan teduh dari atas sana dibalik kepekatan malam, semua laku kekacauan yang kita perbuat di dunia. Mungkin baginya, manusia seperti anak-anak kecil yang tak pernah habis bertengkar selama berabad-abad memperebutkan sepotong permen bernama kekuasaan. Tragedi kematian George Floyd ini, tidak lain merupakan cerminan dari infantilitas manusia, refleksi atas ketidakdewasaan peradaban kita.

Rentang hidup rata-rata manusia sebetulnya relatif singkat. Satu bayi sapiens kira-kira hanya mampu bertahan hidup sampai 60-80 tahun. Untuk sapiens yang cukup beruntung, mungkin dapat bertahan hidup sampai 100 tahun, itupun kalau tak merasa bosan dengan kehidupan. Karena ketika telah mencapai usia senja, perlahan-lahan kemampuan inderawi dan pisikis manusia akan mulai melemah dan sakit-sakitan. Memori dan ingatannya pun akan mulai memudar. Sementara itu, sejarah umat manusia di muka bumi telah berlangsung selama lebih dari ratusan ribu tahun yang lalu. Tapi nyatanya kita tidak pernah cukup dewasa untuk mampu melakukan kebaikan-kebaikan yang sebenarnya mendasar, kita tidak pernah tidak khilaf untuk melakukan kebijaksanaan-kebijaksanaan yang sebetulnya sederhana; seperti tidak mengambil apa yang bukan milik kita, atau misalnya, saling menghargai sesama manusia.

Andai kata kita boleh membuat asumsi humanis sederhana, sebetulnya masalah-masalah besar yang timbul di tengah-tengah manusia di dalam sejarah bukanlah masalah yang berasal dari keadaan dunia itu sendiri seperti hukum-hukum fisika atau keterbatasan sumberdaya yang terhampar luas, melainkan sebetulnya masalah yang asalnya kita buat sendiri (sistemik). Sepanjang peradaban manusia hidup di muka bumi, sepanjang itu pula sifat ceroboh dan kekanak-kanakan kita tidak pernah putus dari sejarah kelam umat manusia.

Jika memang manusia pada dasarnya bersifat kejam dan jahat, jika memang egoisme adalah sifat yang lekat dan tertanam secara inheren di dalam diri kita, lantas sebenarnya apa gunanya Tuhan menciptakan manusia sama sekali. Ataukah jangan-jangan kita ini memang ditakdirkan untuk saling berperang. Mengingat semua pahitnya realita dunia itu, saya menyangsikan, jika kita sebagai manusia sudah punya cukup alasan untuk membenci sesama hanya dengan perbedaan warna kulit, bagaimana jadinya jikalau Tuhan sejak awal menciptakan dunia dimana orang-orang terlahir dengan kemampuan inheren fisik yang berbeda-beda secara ekstrim? Sedikit perbedaan minor saja sudah mampu memecah belah manusia, lantas bagaimana bila kita dilahirkan dalam keadaan bentuk fisik dan rupa yang benar-benar sepenuhnya saling berlainan dan asing? Kekalutan macam apa yang akan terjadi? Kegaduhan seperti apa yang mungkin akan kita perbuat?

Alih-alih kesan mentah dan ketelanjangan (nakedness) yang saya dapat, terkadang dunia yang teramati justru terkesan begitu tendensius. Tendensius kepada hal-hal buruk, kejam, dan seabrek adjektiva negatif lainnya. Benar-benar mengherankan. Sudah sejak beberapa tahun yang lalu saya memutuskan untuk resign dari hiruk-pikuk optimisme peradaban. Selain karena saya tidak sebrilian orang-orang bijak seperti Gandhi, Siddharta, Muhammad, atau Marx yang masih menaruh harapan mulia kepada kemajuan dan potensialitas umat manusia, kehidupan bagi saya sendiri sudah cukup keras dan heartless. Dunia sudah begitu dingin, sepi, dan tak acuh. Realitas sudah selalu buta, penuh pengkhianatan dan kepalsuan.

Meskipun di balik pendirian pesimistik itu, sejujurnya di hati kecil saya masih berharap bahwa dunia dapat menjadi tempat yang lebih baik suatu saat. Namun lagi-lagi pikiran negatif sekelebat memenuhi kepala saya.

"Mungkinkah hal semacam itu?"
"Haruskah kita terus berharap?"

Apakah... akan pernah ada,
sebuah utopia semacam itu di dunia?

Depok, 11 Juni 2020

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Tentang Mengikhlaskan.

Benar bahwa mantan udah ninggalin luka yang mendalam dan ngebentuk diri gue yang sekarang; jadi gamau nikah, fragile soal cinta, ga bisa percaya lagi sama orang, gak mau menggantungkan harapan sm siapapun, punya trust issue yang extremely buruk, skeptis sama kebaikan siapapun, pesimistis dengan segala bentuk cinta yang selfless. Benar bahwa masa lalu itu traumatik. Lebih-lebih ketika gue tau gimana rasanya dibohongi berkali-kali secara hampir tidak terhitung jumlahnya oleh orang yang harusnya paling selalu bisa gue percaya kapanpun dan dimanapun. Benar bahwa gue sudah berusaha sekuat tenaga di saat-saat terakhir semampu gue untuk memperjuangkan tapi gue ngerasa kayak perjuangan gue nggak dianggap ada. Gue merasa benar dalam banyak hal atas dia.

Tapi kalo gue menyalahkan mantan sampe mati atas kesalahan-kesalahan yang dia lakukan di masa lalu dan segala kekurangannya dia, gue gaakan menuntaskan apapun, it will solve nothing, of course selain ego selfish gue yang seolah-olah gapernah habis ngebutuhin "dukungan kebenaran" dari orang lain.

Putus cinta itu justru sarana kritik diri; gue jadi tau persis kurangnya gue itu sebenernya dimana.
Karena dari pengalaman gue ini, gue jadi berkesimpulan: kebijaksanaan dalam putus cinta adalah ketika kita menyadari bahwa yang melulu pantes disalahin dari tragedi putus cinta itu BUKAN lah dia sepenuhnya, (seperti, yang mungkin biasa kita lakuin selama ini karena kita selalu ngerasa ingin bener), melainkan yang terpenting: berkaca pada diri kita sendiri. Mungkin kita nggak cukup mengerti dia dan kemauannya. Mungkin kita terlalu egois/posesif pengen miliki dia sepenuhnya. Mungkin kita terlalu tegas dalam memperlakukan dia. Mungkin kita terlalu berlebihan dalam mencintai dia. Atau bisa jadi juga kita terlalu jarang mikirin perasaan dia ketika melakukan sesuatu yg mungkin nyakitin perasaan dia. Mungkin kita terlalu sibuk sama diri sendiri kita tanpa sadar memperlakukan dia seolah-olah dia gak berarti apa-apa dibandingin kepentingan personal kita, atau parahnya lagi misalnya seperti rintangan dalam kemajuan hidup kita. Mungkin kita kesel dia selingkuh tanpa pernah memahami kenapa dia selingkuhin kita; mungkin kita gapernah berusaha buat nyenengin dia atau memenuhi kebutuhannya; atau menjadi ada saat dia butuh. Atau bahkan mungkin, selama ini kita sudah selalu egois.

Terlepas dari yang manapun itu, solusi dari berbagai konflik terkadang bukanlah penyangkalan (denial), melainkan penerimaan/pengakuan (acceptance) yang benar-benar tulus atas kekurangan-kekurangan diri kita di masa lalu. Putus cinta bukan soal "i am standing so strongly on my stance, i've done a lot of good things for her/him, i've been a completely good person to her/him so nobody can point a finger to me and say that i was wrong in this breakup tragedy". No. Because it's over. semua sudah berakhir. Nggak ada gunanya main menang-menangan, atau siapa yang paling bener dibanding siapa. Melainkan "yes i know she might have done a lot of bad things, but so have i. And i willingly accept myself to be imperfect in the past. I accept myself that i was such a fool back then. I was so wrong about everything that hurt you and your feeling. I failed to make you stay, i failed to be a good partner for you. Thanks for telling me about all my mistakes, by leaving me. You were very precious, because i never realize that and have always been blinded on how i might be such a jerk this whole time. Because of your help, I am able to change myself."

Tindakan/ritual psikologis untuk berdamai dengan kesalahan diri sendiri ini gue sebut sebagai Atelics (greek: Ateleia for; ketidaksempurnaan diri), sebuah kata yang sering kita abaikan begitu saja dalam kamus hidup kita.

Because we've been forced by the optimistic society to always be seen "good" in public, something like sin-less angel, like Gandhi, that when a tragic event happens, we always try to show ourselves as the good and moral person, the angelic side of the tragedy. We always almost forget that we're just merely human being. That it is okay to admit that we do wrong.

Just like in a relationship where there is no side who is completely right and the other side is completely wrong, nobody is purely white just as nobody is purely black. Each of us is always a combination of angel and demon. By acknowledging ourselves about our imperfection, we, then, will eventually be able to transcend ourselves into a higher being, to move forward, to fix our mistakes. If we never accept ourselves to be imperfect and always be denial to criticism, there will be no room for improvement. We will always stay on the same point in life, prisoned in a static condition that we created ourselves, for the rest of our lives.

A best kind of critique is a constructive critique from us to ourselves. Because once we openly accept the fact that we are wrong, we automatically know what is the right thing we were supposed to do--that we didnt do, so we can do it the next time when we encounter the same situation again.

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